“An important part of being an ally is recognition that things are difficult or challenging. But even in regular heterosexual adoption, the system is complex, frustrating and not easy to navigate.I don’t think that’s well understood outside of the process for any couple”
I have been talking to Greg and Aaron for several hours at this point and it’s clear that they are as loving and keen to adopt as any couple could be. Initially they discussed surrogacy, but ultimately settled on adoption as the way forward.
Within the UK, same sex adoption has been supported by legislation since 2002 and in 2010 stronger measures were added to tackle discrimination. The law today states that the sexuality of a couple seeking adoption cannot be a factor in any decision making.
Between 2010 and 2018, the number of same-sex couples succesfully adopting rose to 1-in-8, 12% of all adoptions..
Despite the positivity of these changes and the emergent trend, Aaron tells me they still see some inherent problems with being parents.
“You worry about teasing, bullying even, for a child with same-sex parents. It shouldn’t happen, but being a realist, it does happen. But why should we give up a loving home for someone because other people can’t be civil?”
AS they’ve worked through the process in pandemic years, assessments and meetings have either come with social distancing complications, or been reduced down to remote impersonal video calls.
Making your case, showing your home, submitting everything you have to submit was a long-winded process that has only become more drawn out over the last two years.
“We try to take refuge in the personal elements, when the bureaucracy gets too much. Things like preparing space in our home, looking at clothes, or buying books and toys.”
A week or two after our interview, I heard from Greg.
They have done their final presentation (in person) to the panel of officials who make the final decision on whether a couple will be considered for adoption. The panel have come back with a resounding yes, praising their preparation and dedication to giving a child the best home and start in life they can.
“Now the waiting begins.”
In time the adoption services will contact the couple when they think they have a suitable match, and even then, there will still be more to do in terms of visit, meetings and assessments.
Until then, the road to being a bigger family unit continues.
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